Keeping Up With The Joneses: The Comparison Trap

We live in a world which thrives on comparison. Every where you look, someone wants to build something bigger, faster and with more bells and whistles than a so-called competitor. You only need to scroll through any social media feed to see snippets of someone's extra fabulous life of accomplishments and acquisitions. While I believe most people are not necessarily bragging, just celebrating moments, these posts can create a distorted facade of reality. Witnessing and hearing from so many people daily, living in discontent, frustration and envy about what they don't have, compelled me to write this post. It is troubling to hear how many people wish their lives mirrored one of their friends or someone they believe is more successful, instead of enjoying and appreciating where they are in life.

STOP KEEPING UP WITH THE JONSES!!! THIS IS A TRAP

Who are the Jones? They are the fictitious family created long before me or this blog. They seem to have it all on the surfaces: homes, cars, clothes, money and every material possession imaginable. They are the benchmark for social class. As a kid, I used to hear people say, "I can't keep keep up with the Joneses" so often, I started to believe they were real. Oh, how I didn't understand then, what I know today. The Joneses are alive and still doing quite well! Just follow anyone on social media.

I recently read and wrote a book review for ministry school on ‘Mistakes Leaders Make’ by Dave Kraft. His book paints a clear picture of how comparison replaces contentment and opens the door to trouble.  Kraft introduces us to “Jim” an executive pastor, who began to lose his motivation in ministry when he fell into the comparison trap.  Jim wanted to be a lead pastor.  Frustration set in when he started looking over his life’s accomplishments and realized he was not content in his current role.  He began to think critically about the lead pastor, saying things like, “I could do better than that.”   The Holy Spirit convicted Jim while he was reading Bible passages in James 3:14-16.  These are verses which call out jealousy and self ambition.  Jim began reviewing his life and realized comparing and coveting had been a problem for as long as he could remember.  

The aha! moment Kraft reveals is “mistakes are often not a single event but an attitude, habit, or mind-set that has been forming for years.” There is, however a caveat to covetousness according to  Kraft.  He says it is a good idea, as long as you are comparing what is happening...within yourself with what could potentially happen...with God’s grace.”  The author believes the principle and practice is being “content with who you are, where you are, what you are doing, and what God is doing through you.”   

Even if you are a non-believer, you probably would agree, focusing heavily on the works of others, leads to distractions and gets your plans off track. My plea to everyone is to bloom where you are planted, be grateful for your situation and look for way to improve it so you can help others. This life is not about living in isolation and having near-sighted goals (just for your benefit). Together, everyone achieves more! (T.E.A.M). Sounds cliche', but it is so true!

All of us have talents and gifts which can be used to change the world. Encourage one another, congratulate each other on achievements, be a mentor, ask questions about how someone achieved what they have and stop hating. Be content with yourself - just don't be complacent. Health, wealth and wellness start inside of you!