The perpetual season of making a list of resolutions is among us again. Most people live by the adage "Out with the old - in with the new." The problem is the "old" undoubtedly rears its ugly head in the new year because underlying issues were never addressed. Many people focus on the results of what they want to achieve instead of establishing sound, healthy habits to reach and maintain their goals. This is why I have enacted for myself and now propose to you, the dissolution of resolutions. Let's take a look at a couple of brief definitions of the words "dissolution" and "resolution." I believe this will help you better understand my theory.
noun
- 1.the closing down or dismissal of an assembly, partnership, or official body:"the dissolution of their marriage"synonyms:
- 2.debauched living; dissipation:"an advanced state of dissolution"
noun
- 1.a firm decision to do or not to do something:"she kept her resolution not to see Anne any more"synonyms:
- 2.the action of solving a problem, dispute, or contentious matter:"the peaceful resolution of all disputes"synonyms:
Dissolution and Resolution are similar in what they are deemed to achieve; the closing down or dismissal of something...the firm decision to do or not to do it. For some, the approach is by any means necessary. While dissolution and resolution appear to put an end to an issue or problem, I believe they open doors to new opportunities to achieve success in every area of your life.
When we tell ourselves we cannot have or do something we want, it can lead to an overwhelming sense of negativity and feelings of deprivation, which may produce a loss of motivation and devastating outcomes. We want what we want, but after we get it, we emotionally lash out at ourselves because we believe we have failed. There is no such thing as failure as long as you keep trying. Whatever you choose as your course of action, make sure it's something you can live with and/or enjoy. Baby steps in areas you'd like to improve can be a more positive approach instead of tackling things cold turkey. Sounds simple enough right? Well, it can be, with a positive approach to understanding why you do what you do. This concept works in a countless number of life scenarios, particularly the ones we make resolutions for every year: losing weight and getting out of debt.
If you need to lose weight, the first thought is "I need to eat less and work out." Starving yourself is not the answer. Nor is working out for two hours a day doing every fad workout on the planet! Even if you think eating fewer calories or working out are the answers, the all or nothing method does not work for long. You see the numbers go down on the scale, but happens when they don't, begin to creep in an upward direction and then explode off the charts? This is no different than the debt dilemma we find ourselves swimming in year after year. We allow this to happen when we do not steward our finances well, not acknowledging the need for a budget and living above our means (yes, I know we don't mean to!). Then, usher in a job loss or other unexpected circumstances and we are still faced with paying bills. But with what and how? Whether it's weight loss or debt, we begin to say, "I'll do better next week, next month, next year." Unfortunately so many of us never have learned why we struggle with weight or money or how to control them instead of the issues controlling us.
Take a stand with me right now to stop making resolutions. Begin to design a plan of action!
Since weight loss is the number one resolution most Americans make every year, we'll use this as an example to illustrate the process. First, if you need to lose weight - stop dieting. It's time to change your mindset and your diet! You have to understand why you eat what you eat and own it! And guess what, it's OK! I love Reese's cups, carrot cake and butter pecan ice cream. And I don't need a reason to eat them. If they are in my house, I will enjoy them. The major change for me is I have changed my habit of when and why I buy and eat them. No longer do I do it just because I can. I only get them when I really crave them. And now that I understand my eating habits, those delectable goodies are usually on my radar when I am stressed, tired or I revert back to my mindset of "well, they're here, they must be eaten!" Figure out what's eating you and you can begin to digest a game plan to healthier living.
It has been proven it takes 21-30 days for a person to change a habit or create a new ones. You can begin by adding in more fruits, veggies, water, different foods, smaller portions and exercise. The key is to not do this all at once. Pick one thing and add it to your routine once a week. So, if you fall off one meal, one workout or an entire day, get back on track the very next meal or day. Choose an accountability partner who can share the ups and downs of your journey without judgment. We are looking to establish healthier habits which will last a lifetime and not until the next season of resolutions.
Use this same concept when it comes to spending habits, completing a big project, your spiritual walk or anything you feel you want to improve but have had your sights set on destination procrastination! I believe the two biggest choices you have to make are what you want to change and who you want to support you. You were not designed to do life alone. There are times when isolation is good, but overall, we grow stronger through our relationships/support system - good or bad (marinate on that for a moment) - Selah.
I encourage you to give the idea of the dissolution of resolutions some thought. We all have dreams, goals and visions of how we'd like our future to look. Do not get caught in the trap of giving up if your choices lead to a setback. Look at the situation as a set-up for something greater. Make a plan and then make another one when it doesn't work or the game changes. When we fail to plan, we plan to fail. Keep pressing forward with your eye on the prize - but with your mind on the process. Learn from it, enjoy it and trust it.
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